How the grouch stole Valentine's Day
by providenced
Summary: Modern day AU where Elsa sits behind Anna in her American Lit. class, and is forced to ask her out for Valentine's Day.
1. Chapter 1

"_...and like sunlight on a cloudy day,  
a miracle was born and blossomed,  
that which was also a great tragedy;  
for plants cannot grow without rain  
the same as hearts cannot grow  
without pain."_

Elsa laid the book of poetry down as the bell rang, sliding it to the top of her desk. Romance wasn't really her cup of tea; she found it too mushy and slightly immature to think such childish thoughts as falling in love being like sunlight. She was eighteen, a Senior in high school, preparing to begin a life of business, one she and her father had worked for since she was ten years old. She had no time for things like_ love,_ or _romance_, or (God forbid) a _boyfriend._

However, this particular stanza stuck with her. Not because she thought it was ground-breaking, nor did it stay in her brain because it was an American classic. It stuck because it meant something to her.

And God, was she terrified.

The source of this fear came from a feeling in her stomach, like that of butterflies soaring into a patch of bright roses. It arose anytime a certain redheaded Sophomore (who was in her Advanced American Literature for whatever reason) came into her line of vision. Or, any time she heard her voice. Or heard mention of her name.

"Anna!"

_"Shit."_ she thought, as the butterflies did a particularly strong dance.

"Anna, over here! You are not going to_ believe_ what Kris just told me…"

Elsa inwardly groaned at the blonde sitting two seats in front of her. She reached for her book to attempt to get back into it, but a sudden flash of red caught her attention.

In strolled a girl of such immense beauty that Elsa's world surely stopped spinning, struggling desperately to go into orbit with the other girl's.

Anna's steps were short, confident, and met with an innocent sway of the hips that left Elsa's knees weak. With her hair in two pigtail braids framing her childish face, and a book titled _"A Hero's Frozen Heart"_ crossing her chest, the air around her seemed to spark with her happy and outgoing nature. It was impossible not to like her.

Elsa was sure that the air around her must reek of self deprecation and social anxiety.

Also, she was pretty sure that everyone in the class called her "Mega-Bitch" behind her back.

Well, she wasn't _pretty _sure. She _was _sure, and had heard them all on multiple occasions when they thought she was out of earshot. There was one exception, though. And that exception had just sat a seat ahead of her, talking enthusiastically with her blonde friend. She was the only person in any of her classes who never spoke ill of Elsa. Granted, she rarely spoke of her at all; only once had Elsa heard her name grace those beautiful thin lips.

* * *

_"You think she ever talks?" Rapunzel asked in a hushed voice, eyes on the girl walking into the classroom._

_"Who, Elsa?" Anna asked, turning to look._

_Elsa's immediate instinct was to snap her head up, but she refrained, choosing instead to linger and pretend not to be able to hear the two talk about her._

_"Yeah, Ice Queen. She never says anything. She just looks at everyone like she wants to hit them with a frying pan."_

_"I think she's just...wise, that's all."_

_Rapunzel snorted, and quirked an eyebrow._

_"Wise? What's wise about her?"_

_"Well, she knows when and when not to talk-"_

_"As in never."_

_"-and there's just...I dunno, something about her that doesn't seem rude to me."_

_"You're the only person in the galaxy who thinks that, Anna."_

_"I think everyone deserves a chance, 'Punz. Besides, she's kind of-"_

_The rest of Anna's sentence was lost on Elsa's ears as the bell rang and the class silenced itself. Elsa began moving to her seat, attempting to hide her inner pondering at what exactly she 'kind of' was.  
_

* * *

Their teacher, Mr. Eros, strolled into the class. Elsa snapped back into present day, and began paying rapt attention to his words in an attempt to stop staring at the tantalizing bare shoulders in front of her.

"Good afternoon, class! As most of you know, in three days time is Valentine's Day! I'm sure you've all heard from the other classes that I hold a special place in my heart for this holiday. Which means-"

The sudden inhale of 24 students.

"-you get-"

Panic flooding everyone's brain, willing with all their might for the next set of words to not happen.

"-a project!"

A collective groan came from everyone, except for Elsa. She had expected it. He'd probably make them research some poets from the Romantic Era, or give essay's on what Valentine's Day meant for them.

"Now, now, everyone. This project is going to be _fun_!" he stated, hands spread as wide as his smile. Elsa highly doubted that whatever could induce a grin like that was allowed to be categorized as _fun_.

"On Valentine's Day, this Friday, you are expected to give a presentation. In this presentation, you will ask a member from this classroom to be your Valentine. The criteria are as follows."

He gestured dramatically at the chalkboard, where a single sentence seemed to shatter Elsa's view of all that was right in the world, leaving her to question the existence of any higher power.

Elsa's eyes scanned the yellow letters. _"Must be creative, original, genuine, and -above all- under 1 minute and 30 seconds." _ Aren't things like this illegal? Surely there is some sort of child safety law that prevented teachers from forcing you to engage in romantic acts with other students? _Especially_ if you're eighteen?!

But Elsa knew that there was probably no such law, she was being melodramatic, and all this was was asking someone to be her Valentine for one class period.

Who the_ fuck _was she going to ask, though?

As the class finished reading the board, and Mr. Eros strolled to his desk to allow everyone to discuss, an excited voice piped up in front of Elsa.

"Oh, Rapunzel, how cool is this going to be! Who are you going to ask?"

The blonde seemed to look in deep thought, before meeting the eyes of a kid Elsa knew only as "Flynn" from across the room. Elsa noted the slight blush that crossed her features which betrayed the lie she spoke, saying she didn't quite know yet.

"What about you, Anna? Anyone here who's bones you wanna jump?"

Elsa watched as the back of Anna's neck flushed, with ears to match, and she could only imagine her face doing the same.

"Oh, I dunno, 'Punzel. I'm not very good at things like this. How romantic would it be to be asked, though?" Anna questioned, her voice taking on a dreamy tone. "Just picture it. Someone strolling in with chocolate, and looks me dead in the eye. They'll sing and play guitar-no, that's too simple. They'll play the ukulele! And-and they'll proudly ask me to be theirs. Then we'll go on a date later that night, and we'll, we'll-!"

Rapunzel watched on, smiling, as her friend got caught up in the fantasy, completely oblivious to the girl practically having a fit sitting behind the redhead.

_"If I had any hope of being able to ask her it was just shot completely out the window like wow there it goes did anyone get a chance to see it I don't think so because that fucker is _gone_." _

Elsa groaned at her inner dialogue, before a slight blush covered her cheeks at the realization she had actually made a noise loud out loud.

Anna spun around in her seat, eyes curious, before teal met cerulean and Elsa's entire facade of being composed melted.

"Are you okay, Elsa?" Anna asked, her head leaning in slightly.

"Y-Yeah, I'm uh...I'm fine. Just, this assignment is uh...it's kinda lame, I guess." the blonde managed to stammer out, cheeks ablaze as she thought of how much louder she'd like to hear Anna say her name.

"What?! This is totally cool! You're always reading those books, aren't any of them about, like, I dunno, knights in shining armor? Or, or, princesses going on journeys to find true love! Or what about-"

Elsa let out a laugh she wasn't able to control, and it ended nervously as Anna smiled so wide her gums were waving 'hi' to their families.

"Uh, n-no. No, I don't really read anything like that. Most of my books are about business law."

Anna's face went dull, her eye's a deadpan, as a freckled hand slapped the poetry book on Elsa's desk.

"Business law, eh?" she said, the faintest of smiles reaching the corners of her lips.

"It was recommended by a friend!" Elsa said hurriedly, snatching the book from under Anna's grasp in the gentlest way she could. Anna giggled, and the butterflies turned into a flock of geese, wildly batting their heads against every surface of her insides.

"Okay, I'll believe you _this_ time. But be prepared to get creeped on, Els. I'm going to watch every book you read from now on. There's no way someone can only read such boring stuff all the time. Oh, _shit_, not that your stuff is boring, really! Just that, y'know, I can't imagine not reading anything without a hero and a princess! Or true love, or romance, or anything like that!"

The blonde completely ignored the unintentional insult as her brain attempted to register why it was so fucking hot to hear that curse roll off of Anna's tongue in such a manner, as if she was really genuinely concerned she had offended Elsa.

"Haha, it's fine, Anna." Elsa said, attempting to be nonchalant as possible.

"How did you know my name?"

_Fuck._

"I, uh...I mean, you've sat in front of me all year."

Anna's cheeks turned a bright red, and her eyes cast downward.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

_Good going, assface. You've just made her feel like an idiot._

Elsa attempted a smile, and asked teasingly "How did _you _know _my _name?"

Anna's features immediately brightened, but the blush seemed only to deepen.

"Oh, I uh, I've heard it a few times around school, and I mean…" Anna's tone turned deep, almost sultry, as she continued.

"It'd be almost impossible not to want to know the name of someone so gorgeous."

Elsa froze.

_Right, so that's who she's asking._


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa stared at the object in her lap. It had cost $80, and half a tank of gas as she drove around her town searching for a shop that actually sold these things. You'd think they'd be at a regular store, but apparently these are a _specialty _item. Leave it to Anna to want the most complicated things the world could find.

The blonde let her fingers strum the freshly tuned strings. She'd played piano a majority of her life, and had learned guitar in her "rebellious" middle school years. She still cringed at the memories.

As she laid in her bed, back propped against the wall and hair in a messy ponytail, Elsa played.

Of course, she had never played a ukulele before, but it was proving to be much easier than she had originally thought it might be. The four strings sounded mellow and calm under her fingertips, but the chord book in front of her was proving useless. She couldn't, after all, read music. So those squiggles and dots meant nothing to her. Elsa could speak three languages, but the pages of notes alluded her comprehension.

The normally cool and collected woman was now letting out angry huffs as she attempted to make the chords sound right. But for some reason, they sounded so...artificial, and didn't have the ring to them that the chords on her piano did. She liked the uke already, but didn't like what she was being told to do with it. So, instead, she allowed her fingers to wander the smooth red-tinted wood, nylon strings vibrating under her touch, frets being covered with smooth white digits.

A song was certainly being created. With strums flowing up and down and fingers gently roaming the board, a tune that was soft and simple sprang from the uke. The room was filled with note after note, adjusting in tempo and speed.

Elsa really, _really_ liked how easy this was.

But the annoyed sigh she heard outside her door clearly did not.

"Elsa, I thought I asked you to quiet down in there? Shouldn't you be studying?"

Stifling a groan, the blonde replied "Sorry, Dad. And I already told you, this is for a school project."

Silence, then, "I can't imagine a teacher of anything but music would require you to play an instrument."

Elsa covered her face with a hand, and tried to figure out a way to explain this to him without letting out the truth.

"It's, uh, for American Lit. We have to ask someone to be our Valentine in a 'creative, original, and genuine' way."

"So, who's the lucky guy?"

The blonde froze, happy her father couldn't see the way her cheeks flushed. How the heck was she supposed to explain to him she was gay? She and her dad were close, yes, but he was also a very religious man. She could remember him, as a child, stating "Those gays are abnormal. Not right- not natural. Man and woman are _made_ to be together, and it's as simple as that."  
He never appeared to be overtly homophobic, he just certainly did not support it.

Elsa decided the safest road to take was one that was little and white.

"Oh, his name's uh...Andy. Yeah, he's in my Business and Information Tech class, too." The last bit broadened the white road a bit, but she figured it would keep her dad off her back for the rest of the night if he believed that she was trying to seduce a businessman.

She could practically see the pride coming from his voice through the door.

"Honey, that's great! Well, you carry on, then. He'd be a fool not to say yes to you! Good luck, darling! If you need anything, just ask!"

The sound of retreating footsteps was the cue for Elsa to let out the breath she wasn't aware she was holding.

-

"Communication is a key skill to have in the business place. As a leader, you must be able to speak clearly, effectively, and honestly. It is important to remember, however, that there are times when it is crucial to know what _to_ and _not_ to say."

Her Corporate Financing teacher strode to the blackboard, writing down a few words under _**"CONTROVERSIAL"**_, which was capitalized and underlined.

"Religion, politics, moral code, and love are all very controversial things, things which are not professional to talk about in the workplace, or around your work peers. They cause conflicts, which can take effect on how someone perceives you in a place where personal interference can make or break you."

"Mrs. Adams?" a Junior questioned, hand half raised in the air. She nodded curtly toward him to continue, but the look in her eyes made it clear she wasn't happy he had interrupted her lesson.

"I was just wondering, how exactly is love controversial? I mean, I get the whole 'no sex in the workplace thing', but that's not love, exactly."

"Well, Kristoff," Mrs. Adams began. Her voice took on the tone most teachers get when they knew a question was going to take longer than a few seconds to answer.

"Love is controversial because there are different types of love. Not all of it is accepted, and no form is allowed in a professional workplace."

"Yeah, but _why_? What _kind _of love isn't allowed?"

"All kinds, and I think you know why. Religious, moral, and law all factor into love."

"_What?!_" Kristoff screeched, hands slamming palm up on the desk. "All love is love, no matter what rules you try and put on it." The last sentence was stated matter of factly, and he leaned back confidently in his desk, arms crossed across his chest.

"What are you, some sort of love expert?" a pale, scrawny boy next to him asked. Normally he would be balking under someone as mountainous as Kristoff, but he seemed to gain confidence in the presence of a teacher.

"Well, no! But, I have friends who are."

"_You_ have friends that are love experts? I thought your only friend was the lunch lady who lets you get extra nachos."

Elsa didn't find this remark as funny as everyone else seemed to, and found herself leaning into her desk; she was highly interested in these "love experts" Kristoff had to offer.

"Har har, you're a comedy genius, Olaf. My parents are love experts."

"Mommy and Daddy read you fairy tales, huh? Does ickle Krissy like to weed bedtime stowies with his wittle pet doggie?" Olaf mocked, his voice teasing.

But Kris, normally light and playful, didn't look very amused. He turned faced forward, and paused for a moment before turning to gaze menacingly at Olaf.

"Actually, Mommy and Mommy."

A silence settled onto the classroom that Elsa was sure she could cut through.

"That's enough chit chat for today, I think." Mrs. Adams spoke, effectively ending that conversation.

-

"Kristoff! Hey, Kristoff!" Elsa called, maneuvering her way deftly through the hall. The large blonde man was not hard to miss, and Elsa had been in a daze before she realized he had already left the classroom before she could pelt him with questions.

Hearing his name, he stopped and turned, brown eyes curious before moving down to meet Elsa's own blue orbs. A look of surprise crossed his face, surely amazed that the quiet woman had spoken, much less practically screamed his name down the hallway full of people.

"Uh, hi." he said hesitantly.

"Hi." Elsa replied. She wasn't very good at this whole "talking" thing, so she decided to just go ahead and skip the niceties (going against everything her father had ever taught her).

"It's, uh, Elsa...right?"

She nodded, and began the small speech she had spent the remainder of the class preparing.

"Look, you said you've got two moms, right? And, and, I'm totally cool with that. One hundred percent, for sure. But uh, like, how does that work? I mean, I just-"

"What exactly are you trying to ask? Because if you're going to ask how they have sex, then-"

"No! No, nothing like that at all." Elsa felt her face heat up, and knew her face must match her scarlet flannel shirt. "It's just, there's someone I like. A lot. I've got Mr. Eros, and I have to ask them out for Valentine's for this stupid project. Only, us being together might cause some...issues. I'll have to perform the stupid thing, and I am going to try and do it how sh-_they _said _they_ want it done, only, they don't know I was listening to them describe it! I'm just, I'm so nervous what everyone will think, and-"

"It's a girl?"

Chewing her lip, Elsa contemplated. What'd she have to lose?

"Yes."

"Who?"

She wasn't ready to release that information just yet. Plus, hadn't that Rapunzel girl mentioned a 'Kris' in their conversation yesterday? No, not worth the risk.

"None of your business! Anyways, I just...do you think I should do it, or not? Do you think your mom's would have done it, when they were in high school? I don't wanna blow this."

"Do you know if she likes you?"

_It'd be almost impossible not to want to know the name of someone so gorgeous.'_

"I uh, I don't know. Yet. But, I think so. Maybe?"

"Hmm. You're going to do it _exactly_ how she described she wanted it done? Which, I'm assuming, she said within earshot of you? You didn't hear her words from anyone else?"

"No, she sits right in front of me."

The smirk on Kristoff's face made Elsa furious for some reason, as if he knew something she didn't.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"So, a girl who you find super hot, who sits _right in front of you_, described _IN DETAIL _how she wanted to be asked for a Valentine's Day project? A girl who you have presumably sat behind all year long, who has had a year to look at you and get to know you? She said these things?"

The young girl found herself staring blankly at him. What the fuck was he getting at?

"Yes, I think that that is an overstated summary of what I just relayed to you."

"Dude, she totally _wanted _you to ask her!"

"No. No way. She was just talking to her friend!"

"Just talking to her friend, or subtly trying to get you to ask her?"

Elsa replayed the moment of Anna's description over in her head, searching for any sign of her making hints towards the blonde behind her. She couldn't find anything to note, really. But memories of another time hit her square in the face.

-

_"ARE YOU READY FOR PROM, ANNA?!"_

"I AM SO READY FOR PROM, RAPUNZEL!"

"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY?"

"I AM _**HELLA**__ READY!"_

The two girls gave large whoops and embraced giddily. Elsa watched on in amusement, but hid it by raising an open book to her nose.

"Who are you going with? You still haven't told me!" Rapunzel exclaimed, removing Anna from her embrace.

"Oh, no one yet. But, I have a plan. There, I'll be standing by the punch bowl. I'll grab a chocolate and oh-so delicately put it in my mouth. And a beautiful stranger, tall and fair, will come up to me."

She turned then, staring into the distance a little above Elsa's head.

"We'll talk and laugh allllll night. It'll be totally strange, y'know! And then, then they'll sweep me off my feet and kiss me in a passionate way, with satin lips-"

"Whoa, slow down there, An. You're getting a little turned on, and it's showing."

Anna blushed, and sat down. But not after looking down to see if there really was physical evidence of her arousal. 

-

_"A beautiful stranger, tall, and fair…"_ Elsa mumbled.

"What was that?" Kristoff questioned, his gaze slightly concerned, leaning in to try and catch what she was saying.

_"Great," Elsa thought. "He probably thinks I'm some nutso." _

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Thanks a lot, Kristoffer."

"It's just Kristoff."

"Sorry. Thanks, then, _Just Kristoff._"


	3. Chapter 3

Despite hours of practice the night and morning before, Elsa was not prepared. Though there were only twenty-three sets of eyes to look at her, it felt as if every single person on the planet had crammed into the tiny classroom to watch her perform.

The blonde made her way onto the "stage" (an area at the front of the class that was cleared of desks) and held her uke in trembling white hands. Her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for that source of red she had admired from behind all year long. Upon finding it, teal eyes locked with her own cerulean, causing her to gasp. Elsa certainly hadn't expected such rapt attention.

But eye contact was a key to communication, and communication was a key to success.

And, as far as Elsa was concerned: success was all that mattered right now.

So she sat on the stool that was waiting for her, and held the gaze of Anna. She allowed herself to fade everyone else out, ignore their cool stares, and see only the smile that was forming at the edges of pink lips.

Lifting her ukulele to her hips, she began.

"Hello. I'm Elsa, and this is-"

"Elsa?" Mr. Eros interrupted. Elsa grit her teeth, her carefully planned presentation already messed up.

"Yes?" she hissed, eyes darting to where he stood for a fraction of a second

"Who exactly are you playing this for?"

Suddenly the room was full of people again, all clamoring for her answer. Her palms grew sweaty, her knees went weak, and for some reason she was just so hungry for her mom's spaghetti.

"For...Anna."

There wasn't a moment's pause after that before Elsa's fingers strummed through the notes she knew so well. White digits danced gently across nylon, plucking and strumming a tune that seemed to have written itself for Elsa to play, and to be played for Anna to listen to.

_"Hey girl, won't you just be my girl?  
I swear, I can rock your world.  
_Haha, uh…

_I know it's hard, and not quite fair  
and the things we do…  
might get a few stares, but,  
please just forget  
all of that bull shit.  
We can work it out._

I can't figure out  
these feelings quite right,  
they're running all through mind-"

A beep signalled she had only a ten seconds left.

"Oh, shit. Uh,  
_I am running out of time  
so will you just be my  
Val-en-tine?"_

Elsa wasn't sure what she had expected at the closure of her song. But it certainly wasn't the flash of copper that came towards her at lightning speed. The notion of arms wrapping themselves tightly around her neck had never been in any of her endings. Smooth lips pressed against her burning cheek wasn't factored into the equation.

Neither was the warm breath on her ear that sounded like _"Yes."_

But she sure wasn't going to complain.


End file.
